I would like to share with you my summary of psychologist Sharon Saline’s Strategies for Self-Acceptance. Her blog was directed at teens & young adults in the ADHD community, but as we also experience challenges with self-esteem and coping with anxiety & rejection, and these persist into adulthood, I thought that these strategies might have relevance for us too!
5 strategies for resetting unrealistic expectations and fostering self-esteem:
1. Identify islands of competency.
Focus on your strengths. What do you like to do and feelgood doing? Nurture these activities in your life and spend more time doing them
2. Notice what is going well–when, where, what and how.
Validate your efforts in working toward your goals, acknowledge small wins and savour your successes.
3. Define true friends and identify who they are.
Learn to recognize the difference between good friends, buddies and acquaintances. Identify the traits of a “true” friend. Spend time with people who make you feel good. Figure out how you might have to alter your daily patterns in order to spend time with people with whom you have common interests or objectives.
4. Pay attention to what triggers negative comparisons.
Social media posts often present unrealistic or untrue images, and may trigger negative comparisons or FMO – fear of missing out. No one posts an unflattering photo of themselves or a failing grade on their history paper. Limit time on social media or get rid of some apps altogether.
5. Encourage self-acceptance.
Ideally, we want learn to accept ourselves for who we are. Perfectionism is a myth. Comparing what we see on the outside of others is a limited view. We really can’t know what is going on under the surface of another person.